Boundaries can be brutal — both to set and to maintain. This can be especially true with close friends and family. The fact it can be tough to have good boundaries doesn’t mean you shouldn’t anyway. They can save you a lot of hassle and problems. Here is a list of “rights” that I like related to boundaries from the book, When I Say No, I Feel Guilty, (1975) by Manuel J. Smith:

1. You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts, and emotions, and to accept responsibility for their initiation and consequences.
2. You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behavior.
3. You have the right to judge whether you are responsible for solving other people’s problems.
4. You have the right to change your mind.
5. You have the right to make mistakes — and to be responsible for them.
6. You have the right to say, “I don’t know.”
7. You have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them. (i.e., you don’t need universal approval to act.)
8. You have the right to be illogical in making decisions. (Your choices need not satisfy someone else’s standard of “sense.”)
9. You have the right to say, “I don’t understand.”
10. You have the right to say, “I don’t care.” (You may disengage from issues or pressures that are not yours.)

14 February 2023 – It’s a two-way street: your mental health affects your life. Likewise, your life affects your mental health. Some people with mental health issues will find that it impacts their life–work, relationships, sleep, nearly all facets of life can be negatively affected. When things happen in life (divorce, loss of job, death of loved one), those can impact our mental health.

Consequently, assessing our mental health and our lives is essential to ensure we are as holistically healthy as possible.

22 July 2022 – There is a natural balance in health and natural health is balanced. Any extreme seems unhealthy. For example, mania or depression. There is a balance that is best for life. When the pendulum of trait swings wide, an unhealthy condition typically exists. Too little or too much, both tend to be unhealthy.

The further the pendulum strays from neutral the more damage that is done and the faster it is done. Balance should be maintained in all areas of life as much as possible: mental, emotional, physical, social and spiritual. We should strive for a balance.

When we look at this in another way, think of this in terms of the consumption of an object as it burns: the brighter it burns, the faster it is consumed. When the pendulum is swung far wide, you are burning bright. When you burn hot and bright, you will burnout. You will be consumed.

16 August 2021 – Without challenge there is no reason for growth. When we think about the advances that have been made due to some “need,” we can easily see how a challenge of some kind brought about advancement and growth. The lightbulb came to diminish the challenge of darkness. A plant arises from a seed due to a challenge.

With us, we grow due to challenge. This can be physical–we get stronger when we challenge muscles with a workout. It can be mental–we get smarter when we challenge our brains with thinking. In every facet of life, when we overcome a challenge, we will find growth and change has occurred.

Some words that seem to show ultimate health in interpersonal relationships: “I’m fine the way I am, but still I am willing to include you and involve my life with you.” (Sadhguru) Not a “I need someone to complete me.” Not a “I can’t live without you.” But a “I am good as is and want you with me.”

5 November 2018 – There are five parts to a person: physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual. An issue in one of those areas can affect others. So, for example, if you don’t feel well (Physical), that may affect the way you interact with others (Social), or how you think (mental), or how you feel (emotional). Positive aspects can likewise influence the others.

When three of those five parts are doing/going well, the others seem to follow. Likewise, when three are doing poorly, those have a deleterious effect on the others. It’s almost like some can have an inoculative effect on the others.

The same thing is true in various parts of our lives. Work life affects home life and vice versa. Family can probably tell, when you come home from work,, how things have gone during the day.

One aspect of life can bleed over into another aspect..